English-Only Only Makes US Stupid

I about choked when I read that the LPGA is now requiring its tournament golfers to pass an oral English test or face suspension from its tournament. Now, nobody whine to me about how people in America ought to know English! Yes, even babies know that! The bigger point missed by puffy-chested patrialinguists is that we Americans are now statistically among the more stupid educated people in the world--yet we’re telling people far smarter and more disciplined (and increasingly richer) than we that they should be more like us.

A 2004 PISA comparative math study ranked the United States 24th out of 29 developed countries in real-life problem-solving ability. The top performers were students from Finland and South Korea--and ironically, it’s primarily Korean golfers whom our domestic duffer-divas are bullying to learn English. We stink less in science, but still in the bottom half, 29th out of 57 nations--behind Croatia, Liechtenstein and 26 others lining up to eat our lunch.

I’m a terrible golfer, and I don’t know a lick of any Asian language, but I do know the Bible. And there God not only says that it’s bad to be ignorant, but that it’s even worse to be arrogant, too. So, read God's word and weep. Or better yet, read it and WORK--to save our country from the coming reckoning. And from the country club dames of the LPGA.

Wisdom…cries out in the public square. “You simpletons!” she cries. “How long will you go on being simpleminded? How long will you mockers relish your mocking? How long will you fools fight the facts? Come here and listen to me! I’ll pour out the spirit of wisdom upon you and make you wise. I called you so often, but you didn’t come. I reached out to you, but you paid no attention. You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered. So I will laugh when you are in trouble! I will mock you when disaster overtakes you—when calamity overcomes you like a storm, when you are engulfed by trouble, and when anguish and distress overwhelm you.” Proverbs 1:20-27

A Premier Spanking

Remember the disturbing story a few years ago of the Houston mother who tried to hire a hitman to kill a rival cheerleader contestant— to give her own High School daughter a better shot at making the varsity cheerleading team? I got some of that Cheerleader Killer Mom vibe this last week watching the Chinese Premier congratulating his Chinese gymnastics team—so proud, and probably, so culpable: It seems pretty obvious that several of the gymnasts were under the required minimum age of 16 years—and even more obvious that any major rule-break in China had to be winked at by the Chinese authorities.

Of course no one’s appointed me the reigning rule-enforcer of things Olympic. But if it were up to me, here’s what I’d decree: the older, less limber ladies on the teams below China should really have the moral equivalent of the medals ahead of them. The Americans deserve the gold, the Romanians deserve the silver, and the Russians deserve the bronze. Period. And the Chinese sports machine that forces little girls to tell lies to the world? They deserve a major-league wood-shed whopping—and a mandatory apology to the world, and even more, to the little girls’ integrity they pimped out for medals.

Apparently the International Olympic Committee is investigating. Will anything happen? I almost hope not. Like most bossy people we know, bossy leaders like China’s tend toward insecurity and paranoia— and it’s not in the United States’ interest for them to be humiliated by an Olympic inquiry and medal-stripping. In fact, who’d want to humiliate even the Chinese girls who were forced to lie by their omnipotent dictators? So my guess is the tainted results will stand.

The cool part, though, is that the other teams’ grace in refusing to criticize the host team gives them probably a better life-lesson than if the contests had all proceeded fairly. Indeed, in their lives ahead, my guess is they’ll face adversity and cheating more often than they will integrity and fair play. As they are already learning, it’s not whether you gold or silver, it’s how you play the game. So no matter whose national anthem played at the women’s gymnastics team medal ceremony, I couldn’t be prouder of the smiling, gracious young women in red, white, and blue.

Proverbs 11: 1 The LORD hates cheating, but he delights in honesty. 2Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.